Captains' Log

OK, I'm late in posting. Cable company hooked up internet yesterday, but I had to wrestle with the wireless router for ~3 hours to get it to work. Much better things to do in the new house, but Kate can take care of most of it while I'm back in Texas. Geekery is apparently on my side of our division of labor (along with doing the dishes and vacuuming).

Kate will post photos of the trip online at some point. While the landscapes get increasingly beautiful, the photos become fewer as Apple got more and more afraid of the camera. Don't ask - you just don't want to spend hours in a car with a dog who freaks and tries to hide whenever you pull out the digital camera.

In the meantime, and perhaps of more interest to some of you (hi, Julie!), here are selections from the journal we kept on the road. Anytime there's a long pause between entries, you can reasonably assume we were talking politics or religions or just laughing too much to record what made us laugh.

h = hour
m = minute

DAY ONE

m1 I feel pretty good about this

m2 Who farted?

m3 Stubby is licking the atlas. The world tastes good.

m5 Cacophonous birds

m8 Anti-fog wipes, my ass!

m9 Who farted?

m49 What smell is the equivalent of a sunrise?

m53 We decide that our dogs would vote Libertarian: "I caught the squirrel. Don't take my squirrel, Government. I earned that squirrel."

h1m52 A poem for Gabe Gudding, to Apple: "My balls are not an ocean and you are not a boat"

h1m56 Billboard: "Sheriff / TOMMY THOMAS / for Sheriff"

h2m40 I thought you said his name was Otter Bots

h4m57 Bubba Oustalet

h629m JeFF tries to tell Kate she can't write "Guess what, mutt butt?" but she thwarts him. Although he won't know until he reads this later.

h7m30 Baptist Pumpkin Center

h7m33 JeFF: He's hanging on with his forelimbs
Kate: Four limbs?
JeFF: With an E
Kate: Limbeez?

h10m17 Fuzzy butt bumpkins butt bum bum bump bum

h12m30 Garmin: Continue 120 miles.
Kate: Screw you, Garmin!

DAY TWO

m45 Road names that sound like bad pornos: Beaver Ruin

h1m45 "Dad's Restaurant / Voted Best Burger / 100% Cow"

h2m3 Musical options: 9 stations praising Jesus, "I'm proud to be an Okie from Muskogee," something bluegrassy about a monkey who steals a locomotive, or death metal

h3m55 Apple starts to lick one foot, while the other sneaks up on her and starts to scratch her ear. She looks at it grumpily, since it didn't have permission to scratch.

h5m3 The tree is saying, "Pcchhkk, I am Yellow"

h7m9 Apparently "Drill here Drill now" is a national meme

h7m46 JeFF: It's Roger Thomas, Jr.!
Kate: Who?
JeFF: The guy in the low-rider with flames.
Kate: He has his name on his car?
JeFF: Yeah.
Kate: Who's Roger Thomas, Jr.?
JeFF: The guy in a low-rider with flames!

h8m15-30 MAINT REQD. Owner's manual near-useless.

DAY THREE

m9 Mistaking God for coal

m16 eat the egg not my finger!

m57 Passing Frackville, PA...want to go buy and smash a toaster...

Side note: Penn State road symbol. Mason? Keystone?

h4m44 "Eve was framed" bumper sticker

h6m33 Apple licking cardboard box. Stubby licking cell phones and sun visor. Either very hungry or have lost fragile little minds during long trip

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